How fool I am?

Huhm... I don't know how many days it is from my graduation... I don't want to count again... Huhm... I want to count how many days to finish my target... But, it is more difficult... So, it means don't count the days...

hihihihi...

I did't write two days, right? Huhmm.. So many things happened. But, I don't remind all...

I just remember that last Friday, I was late texting my lecture, so I missed a meeting with my lecture. And now, I'm difficult to make appointment. I need his signature for preparing my graduation soon. I hope tomorrow I can make appointment. The wisdom is "if you need something, just do how the way to get that, don't wait others do that for you".

Than, I was sleeping all ningt long in Friday night... And I forgot to pray. The wisdom is "pray on time, so you will not forget".

This morning, I made my little cousin cry, because I broke his toys. So, I had to change the new one. And I found it by entering some minimarket. The wisdom is "watchout when you play with kids".

I done my TOEFL test (I hope) at course laid in Bhayangkara street. I made some stupid things like sign at "examiner" coloumn, wherease i was "examinee". And the "examiner" knew it. How it's embrassed me? The wisdom is "be careful and think when you will do something".

I was also wrong when i was in interview test. I chose the theme that i would tought about with my examiner. What film type is Twilight? I answered drama film. And I knew that it was wrong... Hohohoho. The wisdom is "don't be nervous when do something, because you can not maximize your ability".

And I hope my story below is my last fooled things...

I know something bad will happend to me if I fall in love with this guy... But, i'm not ready to deal with this bad things... I can guess it, so I'm supposed to ready!
Oh... How fool I am?
I cried for him, but I knew it don't be needed.
I wrote my status at Facebook "i know it will be happened... i know it will be hurt me... but why is it making me cry now? i should be ready for this, but i couldn't... i need to wake up! my last word for you : i'm gonna miss you, and i hope it's your best way... good luck!"
I can share all things here...
But, I'm loosing my mind now! I'm loosing my spirit... Maybe, I'm ready for loosing him, but I'm not ready for loosing his care...
He gave me signal for this bad things... Oh, I intended to confirm this signal, but the bad things come earlier...
The wisdom is "don't be number two".

Changes!

2nd day... hihihi...

In the early morning, i've changed my first target (finishing translate my minithesis).

My new first target is to have high score in TOEFL. I need it so much for preparing my dream job. I called my last place where I done my TOEFL test last year, but the test have hold last week. Oh how poor I am. The type TOEFL test in that place is ITP TOEFL. Those type is what I need..
Then I called another course. She said the type is also ITP TOEFL. Then, immedietly i came and registered at that course. How fool i'm, after I've registered, I realized that those type is not ITP TOEFL, but it is TOEFL Prediction. How can the front officer said that it is ITP TOEFL? But, I've got my schedule to do this test, next to days... I hope i can be reach high score in whatever these type of TOEFL... I hope it can be useful someday...

I think not only my target should be changed, but also my life.
Hufh....

I'm 'galau' now... hahahaha...
I need someone, i know who he is. He is the right man, but it is just a dream to catch him. Hiks... Now... I must back to reality! He is busy on his job. No more care of me...And i miss him... I know i'm wrong if i hope it can be my man. The reason maybe let me know and you don't. It's crucials.

Because this 'galau', i conclude my second day is worse. huhuhu. i don't want tomorrow getting worse again.. I must be better!

Please change to your better future emka!

New stage in my life

Huhm...
I think 11-01-11 was one of my big day. Alhamdulillah, i could pass my final test in Bachelor Degrree.
I'm happy actually. But, some part of myself feel scary...
Is it too fast ending my study in Bachelor Degree?
I don't think so, because i done all my duty as well as i could.

Why I feel scary?

"The end of its part is the beginning of other part... It is process..."

It means.. I'm in new stage in my life.
I need to prepare anything now. I'm sure there will be much challenges.

Should I make target?
Actually, YES.

I just want to practice my ability and share my knowledge... I hope the feedback can made my life better...

My first target is help my parents to do Hajj. How can I do that?

Please God, give me the way?

Some of friends suggest me to take study in Master Degree and be a lecturer.
Oh... I think it will be holy job.
It needs money. Maybe my parent will agree, but i want to have more experience first, so I can increase my knowledge...

And how I can choose where I can get experience?

I'm confuse...

I hope i can decide it soon, I don't want wasting my time.
I know it is my first day in my new stage, but I don't want i will do nothing tomorrow.

I hope i always do better everyday.

Start new stage with new hope and new spirit!
Let's help to arrange and prepare for my better future.